girls love shoes and guys love guys
every girl worth her prada and gucci knows that a good pair of shoes, that one perfect pair in silver lined with beaded diamonds from sierra leone that matches her newly bought dress to be worn to a best friend's wedding is worth a lot more than than, well, the next pair of shoes (or her salary)

she knows that the perfect pair of shoes are the ones that go with only maybe 2 dresses - this gives her an excuse to go shopping and buy matching shoes for her tons of other tops and dresses in the bulging wardrobe,



guys are no better,

in fact, instead of shoes, we are obsessed with other men - gasp - (not that there is anything wrong with that - i don't want to be head-hunted by feminist and gay activists for this piece)


anyway, guys don't care a hoot for anything else as long as we can become beckham, jordan, rossi, brad pitt, and sometimes all of them at the same time, hell i know of one who aims to become singapore's answer to the MILF hunter, but that's another story

you almost never hear a guy say, "wow, i which i had a pair of earrings like beckham" but you'll always hear at sunday basketball court soccer matches grown men saying "ah, look who's ronaldinho, i'm he," os something to that effect as he executes a lame imitation of fake-overs,


so we wear our hair in a mullet kind of wave because beckham wears it like that and we buy yamaha bikes because rossi is paid to ride one, we buy air jordans so that we can leap tall buildings in a single bound, we try to get a super babe girlfriend who wants to adopt cambodian children because brad did that, the list goes on,

it's hard to admit but we like other guys, we want to be in the cool guy's company, we want to be them even, that's the reason why we gush over our sports heroes and hollywood darlings, and that's why, when we say we want to buy that oh so expensive pair of football boots or that cool red mini cooper it's not for us, but simply to satisfy our genetic cravings to have david beckham's right leg and mark wahlberg's tool, (this last reference would only be clear to those who have watched boogie nights)  ¶ 2:10 am