¶ 9:29 am 0 comments

  final leg


i didn't think that i would feel sad leaving, but as i was packing up my stuff earlier,
i realise that i spent 6 months there, and contrary to what i put on paper in my evaluation, the biggest lesson i learnt had nothing to do with writing (this blog serves as testimony, of course)

i learnt that however slow it moves,

time passes  ¶ 11:37 pm 0 comments

  hates and misses

it's the feeling of euphoria, but also the sensation of pain,
it's the sudden ray of sunshine that comes before the first drops of rain,
it happens when you least expect it, when you want something else,
it's the look of delight in a kid's eye when he gets that first lick of his ice cone
it's also the wails of anguish of a kid who drops the cone before he gets to taste it
if hate is the antithesis of love
if one can't exist without the other,
then let this love dissolve for i don't wanna hate anymore

-Neal Solis  ¶ 12:42 am 0 comments

  child's play nor: wouldn't it be good if,,,

nam: what?

nor: don't cut me off,,, what if, what if,,,you can turn back time, go back to the past, and tweak whatever wrongs and bad decisions you made, with the benefit of hindsight, you can then make a perfect life for yourself

nam: and then what? - you get killed accidentally, or you screw up even more, since it's in your character to screw up?

nor: hmmmm, but it would be great rite wouldn't it? to be able to undo things, unlearn difficult life's lessons, payback the kid who stole your stuff?

nam: who cares about going back, it's the future that matters, what's meant to be is meant to be,

nor: But don't you get it? your life will be better!!!

nam: whaT gave you the idea that my life's worse at present than before?

nor: isn't it...

nam: not really, i feel empty, but because of that i'm lighter,

nor: your brain's made of feathers that's why

nam: so if going back is so great, tell me how i can do that then?

nor: i can't, silly, you know no one can!!

nam: so there's really no point talking about it right?

nor: wouldn't it be good though  ¶ 3:33 pm 1 comments

  the power of the visual this is not a regurgitation of some lecture on semantics and panopticons and whatever,

but just relieve wonderful times and memories from before, which will soon make you realise that your memories are made of visuals, the photographs of the mind, the everlasting ones, (unless u have dementia) the ones that withstand the degradation of silver oxide,

most of our memories are made of such images, happy, sad, surprised, delighted, whatever, the first thing that comes to mind when you think of a person will probably be the image of that person, followed by the words said at that particular time or moment,

of course, if you've never seen that someone, the image you'll have would be much different, but it'll still be an image

i digress

visuals are powerful  ¶ 1:35 am 1 comments

  weird post i don't really have anything to write about recently, which explains the demise of my virtual rantings,

but having nothing to write probably is the clearest reflection of my life right now - that i have nothing going on at present, kinda aimlessly wondering both in the mind and literally,

and no, this isn't a "god, why this is happening to me" kind of ranting or "i have no life" kind of whining,

lest i give the impression that i'm unhappy, well the truth is, i'm not, but on the other hand, i'm not ecstatic either,

the past six months was probably one of the most trying periods of my life, and it's coming to an end soon, pretty soon actually,

which explains my sudden wave of nostalgia now, that stems from the fact that other than work stuff, i don't really have anything to show for 2005,

it's like what a friend told me recently, that she can't seem to sleep at night cos she feels that she hasn't done enough thingst on that particular day,

i need the sense of fullfilment for the first half of the year,

there's really no point in my writing this time round, which is probably apt since it seems that i don't have any at the moment  ¶ 11:46 pm 0 comments