the nothings

i don't really blog anymore

2008-11-20T17:11:00.000+08:00

for those who share my late night musings of overwatching drama series - watching them at one go...

i recommend Robin Hood, a BBC production,
it's witty and easy to follow - good vs bad..

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE CONTEST

2008-08-18T09:49:00.000+08:00

I admit it's a tough one.

SILVER- made in China

At all major new stands 08 08 08

2008-07-31T20:11:00.000+08:00

Soon...

2008-07-24T20:12:00.000+08:00

Wait for it

2008-07-24T09:44:00.000+08:00

Coming soon

2008-07-23T18:49:00.000+08:00

slave for hire

2008-07-12T21:34:00.000+08:00

"There's too much modern slavery, in transferring players or buying players. We are trying now to intervene in such cases," Blatter said yesterday.

The said slave --------------------------------------->

earns at least

SGD$323,300 a week,

which translates to $46,186 a day,
meaning, he earns $1,924 an hour, $32 per minute
and 54 cents every second

can i be a slave too?

random wallpaper

2008-07-06T09:11:00.000+08:00

happy giler

2008-05-31T08:09:00.000+08:00

despite work and the crazy hours, everything else is falling into place...finally,

like breaths of fresh air

2008-03-29T20:51:00.000+08:00

i spent a couple of nights in the past week catching up with old friends, it was definitely refreshing to hang out with people whose names previously existed only in the contact list of my phone's memory - i blame work and a fair amount of selfishness,
and i was glad i found time to hang with them, and as we talked of serious shit like tora chocolate balls and juvenile thievery, i found that i appreciated greatly their uncommon queries, ones that are asked with a genuine interest in their answers rather than a confused torrent of questions that sometimes masks pun with concern

finally

2008-03-15T13:28:00.000+08:00

in the end, the final two wisdom teeth are out - which explains my couple of days of agony
at last, i got the call up...and just to spite me, i suppose, it's during the fasting month,
but ultimately, happy giler, don't know why, must be the meds

gerek punya free software

2008-03-03T19:12:00.000+08:00

this software at www.piclens.com changes your browser into an intuitive slideshow
so what?: so if you are like me, and like to look at photos on multiply, facebook, myspace, etc, you should download this add-on since it lets voyuer on a whole other level, it also drastically improves your google image searchers - you don't have to keep on clicking "back" to view other images, ..betul, tak bedek...see and try for yourself at www.piclens.com

lepak abis (ie: got nothing better to do)

2008-03-02T19:51:00.000+08:00

found this on www.talkingcock.com

© http://www.TalkingCock.com 2001-2003. All rights reserved.

public toilet

2008-03-02T19:30:00.000+08:00

one of the many things i dislike about going to the toilet when i'm outside is touching the tiny bit of metal of the latch to the cubicle door,
like a friend said some time back, that small bit of latch or door "knob" is a "viral" connection between you and the previous user of the toilet - still catch no ball?

let's go over several scenarios:

ONE: a disgusting person who can't aim uses the toilet, since he can't aim, he has to hold his tool steady using his master hand (depending on preference, not necessary for right handers to use their right hands and vice versa, anyway this has no relevance to the topic) of course, since he's not in control of the liquid projectile he's spouting, his piss would dribble onto his fingers, after he's done, he''ll then reach out for the latch, with his now soiled but dry again fingers, and opens the door, u then come in, cannot tahan redy, and locks the door using the same latch,

TWO: we guys need to do the jerk or tug and pull to get the last drops of piss out before zipping up - of course, in doing so, even for us experts and "lao chiaos", drops of our liquid gold (signs of dehydration) will inevitably touch our hands, let's say the same person (as in scenario ONE) does this and now his hands are soiled...hmmm...i don't have to repeat the whole process i guess...

So to conclude, DON"T

1) Use the cubicle when you can use the urinal (of course, if you have stage fright and cant piss when someone's next to you, you should use the cubicle anyway, or whistle or think of waterfalls)
2) touch the latch at all costs...maybe use toilet paper
3) touch the latch without making sure that there is industrial strenght soap in the dispenser for you to disinfect your grubby paws after touching it
4) waste time reading posts like this ;) thanks for reading, anyways!

Gem

2008-02-26T13:07:00.000+08:00

I came across this gem of mat jokes on the net just now -

" A Mat, who was in Primary 3, came home from school one day and asked his father, "Bapak, today in school, me and friends had competisen, see who's cock the biggest, lah. My cock bigger than all, lah. Why ah? Because I melayu, issit?

The father sighed and looked at him and said, "No,lah. Because you're eighteen years old." "

from www.talkingcock.com

delhi belly in surabaya

2008-02-22T13:02:00.000+08:00

firstly, my sincerest apologies! i think the recent barrage of posts here has misled some to think that 1) i'm suddenly inclined to blog like mad 2) i live in the past
well, i can safely say that no. 1) is not true. the posts are all past ones from www.thenothings.blogspot.com, i'm still as lazy as ever, and no 2), hmm let's don't harp about the past shall we?

anyway, i just want to share some lepak things i discovered in a bakery in sunny surabaya recently,

<--- the bottle on the left contains a concoction that supposedly makes your "burung" (read: dick) a "dewa" (read: deity).
The catch: you got to "kocok dahulu" (wank)

this one ------------------------------------------------------->
makes u a "super jantan" (super male)
it seems that downing a considerable quantity regularly will make you as powerful as black beauty.

but the one below takes the cake (pun intended abis)

check out the name of the cake below bakpia waluh:

i was like :

N: Sedap kuih ni ya ibu.
Ibu: memang sedap, dari labu

N: namanya apa si?

Ibu: pukis

N: Apa?
Ibu: Pukis, Kuih pukis,

N: embjlniafad (difficult to replicate what i said while trying to suppress laughter)
Ibu: mau lagi?

for the record, memang sedap

2008-02-21T00:36:00.006+08:00

an undeniable fact of life, albeit largely cliched, is that people change,
what's worse, sometimes, people change during a mature period of their lives where you simply thought that change isn't possible - i'm fast losing the naive conjecture that we stop changing after a certain age - we don't,,, in fact, we continue to evolve,
(or devolve) and transform possibly into the very persons we decided many years ago not to become, but somehow,uncannily, in chasing our dreams, the traits we used to loathe gather undesirably as one, with our idealistic selves

Metamorphosis by Sheila Wolk @ art.com

2008-02-07T00:27:00.002+08:00

"there is no such thing as an objective thought or an objective opinion, commentary, article, composition, essay, thesis, you get the drift,

by design and definition, whatever you say, or cannot say is simply not objective, so it will be more realistic to aspire towards objectivity" - norman, a not so good essay, , 2003.

found this while housekeeping the hard drive, so lepak, but so true, especially at present

building park benches

2008-01-30T12:53:00.000+08:00

read lance armstrong's book, Every Second Counts, which is a follow-up to his bestseller It's Not About The Bike,

i admit, i have a school boy fascination with his discipline and grit, but i'm going to focus on his friend, Lee Wheeler, which he mentions in passing in the later sections of the book,

Lee Wheeler believes that we shouldn't try to make great big changes that would affect the world, it would be simple to focus on things that we can change and have control of,

so Lee bought a park bench and installed it outside his house, for tired pedestrians to sit and relax their legs,

forced socialization

2008-01-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

one of the scenarios explained by the above phrase is a behavioral experiment where researchers put two rats of different sexes in a 4 x 4 box and force them to socialize - mate or make friends or anything like that, to study their behavior, and the variables would be time, space, number of rats, blah blah,

i think this experiment mirrors life, all of us have been rats before, and i don't think many like being rats, i don't, in fact, i absolutely hate it - but, for sanity's sake, i don't really want to get into the details right now,

digression: to answer a common question, i don't really like to use full stops in my posts, since there are no full stops in life, but there are lots of pauses, commas, and hyphens, (nak step deep lah ni)

anyway, i don't know why i've the energy to type after "wet" dream theater just now, (get it, get it) by the way, the concert was great lah, although it was raining most of the time, (what were you thinking!)

(get ready for abrupt ending)
i just realised, we're approaching the year of the rat

rats!

2008-01-05T13:13:00.000+08:00

this is what i managed on NYE, sheesh,the rest came out awry

2008-01-03T11:47:00.000+08:00

here are some childhood queries that i've never ever got the chance to clarify (actually, i just forgot about them till recently) -

1) why we can't smell our foul-smelling boogers when they are still in our noses
2) where are the ants always rushing off to
3) if i should grab a chance while it is still hot, why should i look before i leap? (this one not very original, i read it in fulghum long, long time ago)
4) if white lies are good or at least necessary, are bad lies coloured black then?
5) why people still ask "do you want to know the truth?"

2007-09-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

i simply dislike people who don't plan
This is of course separate from being spontaneous - that is a totally different matter,
I'm talking about people with lots of time, experience, resources, etc, but somehow, refuse to plan and instead rely on bizarre off-the-cuff simplified solutions which almost always involve imposing their asses on others,

ok, rant over, haha

nostalgic siak, just ignore the lepak lyrics

2007-09-05T00:47:00.000+08:00

2007-08-26T14:38:00.000+08:00

2007-08-13T22:57:00.000+08:00

“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.” - Albert Pine, English author, d.1851

2007-07-31T20:06:00.000+08:00

the shards of narsil

finally, i restarted my reading of the lord of the rings - almost five years since i got the back-breaker of a book from kino,

i don't really know what happened between 2003 and 2007, i don't have an inkling of what made me forget about reading it,

maybe i didn't have time - come to think of it, this week was the first week in two years that i had a break of more than 3 days consecutively

gosh, get a life man, you say in your heart

i hear you - crystal, are your words in my ear,

anyway, hah, this is not a literary lament - although my undernourished vocab worries me (i had to refer to the dictionary several times while reading up to page 319)

i just realise that i've read less than 10 books since 2003 - man..this has got to change,

the sad thing is, i've continued to buy them, not many, but at a rate of almost once a month, only for them to yellow and their spines wither not from the frequent of touch, but from the lack of it,

why am i writing this today, and only now?

have you not been paying attention? i suddenly have more down-time, although i'm sure this period, its lenght will be short-lived,

sorry for wasting two minutes of your life reading this,

2007-07-29T01:25:00.000+08:00

i rediscovered reading today

2007-07-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

""When love is in excess it brings a man no honor nor worthiness"" - Euripides

i've always supported argentina

2007-07-18T11:12:00.000+08:00

2007-07-11T23:49:00.000+08:00

maybe i had a deprived childhood, but nothing beats transforming a motor vehicle into an evil alien robot,
gosh, still deprived in adulthood i guess

2007-07-11T10:30:00.000+08:00

things i do when i'm bored (photo courtesy of green nymph)

2007-07-09T00:16:00.000+08:00

sometimes, doing the right thing is simply incorrect
the perfect-most thing can seem all wrong,
of course, doing the wrong thing, most times, is entirely wrong,
but sometimes, just sometimes, the wrong thing might be the truest you've ever done for yourself

2007-06-24T11:52:00.001+08:00

mixed up in the middle of nothing

2007-06-02T20:44:00.000+08:00

the indulgence of hope

2007-05-20T23:54:00.001+08:00

had lotsa fun at this wedding last week (pic courtesy of happy couple)

2007-05-16T00:27:00.000+08:00

someone i barely knew passed away yesterday, an accident caused by a freak of nature, there's nothing significant to this, but i met him two weeks ago, at a wedding, didn't really speak though

although i try to avoid cliche ramblings here

his death, made me think of my own mortality

2007-04-04T01:08:00.000+08:00

i think, this is it

2007-04-01T17:04:00.000+08:00

since i'm still at home, after rescheduling the interview to err, 6pm, yikes....i thought i'll blog some more

feeling better, thankfully,

hmmm

the stuff that i want is not available in borders
i've been to kinos too, but none too in bugis

maybe i'll scoot over to ngee ann city hunt for it after this

(you could have done something more worthwhile in the few seconds you wasted reading this)

2007-03-30T16:44:00.000+08:00

i never felt like this before...it all came so suddenly...causing my head to spin...and spin...and spin...like love at first sight....

bloody hell...

this bloody bug in my system is not a bug, but a big giant viral monster, since tuesday, when it first bared it's fangs, it has done nothing but gloat, peeing all over my bloody tonsils (literally) and then pouring hot coal over my head

very dramatic hor...or course...but i don't really have other words to describe what i'm feeling right now..my eyes are constantly half-closed, even as i type bloody sunday's stuff, and believe it or not, i have to pretend and show the family that i'm actually well, cos when they ask me and i say i feel like shit, they'll look at me with the "i told you to go to another doctor" look or you should rest your body and not go cycling...

i'm angry and hungry, becouse half of the things i set out to do this week are still undone and the other half is well, lost... and i'm famished becaused whatever i eat seems to want to come out/escape quite immediately, reminds me of a few people i went out with in the past...

speaking of which, i've not been out of the house since tuesday, and it looks like this weekend will be spent retching into the toilet bowl (and that's even before i peek into the mirror)

2007-03-23T00:12:00.000+08:00

it's been a while...

probably cos i didn't really do anything that would be of interest to anyone
actually i've still not done anything vaguely interesting lately, besides late movies in the wee hours of the day and automated dart games that keep score and allow many second chances
one of the many "benefits" of a flexible job system that muddles the line between work and personal life is the murder of my life as i know it...
i hallucinate of work even at home - bloody putrid miasma emanating from the shaggy carpets probably lodged itself permanently in my head - of stale curry, sugar syrup and coffee spills,

i'm actually hungry again

2007-01-18T02:04:00.000+08:00

i'm inclined to write today because

shouting at the national stadium was surprisingly therapeutic
i found the best place to get that perfect bowl of soup and noodles
at last, the sickness's all gone
it's 2 am and i'm sitting in my sister's living room eating madelines and feeling cold
it's cold - a direct consequence of being too lazy to get up and switch off the fan
sleep is an idea my mind refuses to comprehend
i need to get the rusty engine warmed up for tomorrow
i believe that the fat lady will finally sing on american idol this season

2006-12-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

updates to this site, if any, would be sporadic - a combination of interest lost and ... that's it, really

till next time,

2006-11-26T19:58:00.000+08:00

had time to think about nonsense when i got held up in traffic some nights ago, the dj on radio was reading out quotes, from the learned, the wise and the merry -

i realised i have some of my own too...

""later in NS you hang from helicopter, cannot pull yourself up how?"" - Steven Quek, PE teacher in secondary school (1994)at the monkey bars,

"Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under't"" Lady Macbeth, from literature class back in 1997,

""Very gewwwwd"" - Sim Kok Heng, physics class (1997) He wasn't referring to my grades,

""life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll gonna get"" forest gump, from the movie, in 1990s, i've always failed to understand what this means,i mean if i buy a box of cadbury's, i'll know what i'm gonna get when i open the box,

and my fav...

""shit passes,"" somewhere in the jungles of tekong, during bmt, (2001, this sergeant was trying to motivate us to dig the bloody trench in the rain...i realise now it applies to lots of things, if not to all things,

2006-11-07T07:38:00.000+08:00

2006-10-15T22:02:00.000+08:00

things i did this week

ate more, lots more,

slept less, a lot less,

spent more time thinking,

and talked a lot less,

which came alongside listening a little more,

moving on,

i've a strong craving for cheese fries, nachos and ice jelly, in that order,

my apologies to those who've wasted 12 seconds reading this

2006-10-08T17:36:00.000+08:00

one of the final scenes in "a beautiful mind", one of the most moving ones too, for those not in the know, John Nash is making his acceptance speech after winning the nobel prize for his gaming theory,

2006-10-02T00:11:00.000+08:00

upset - pity the adopted kid, from eitb24.com
Gay couple adopts a child in Barcelona
09/30/2006
The counsellor for welfare and family at Catalonia's government said 28 gay couples had applied to adopt under last year's law -- most of them male couples.

A gay couple in Barcelona have become the first pair in the Spanish State to adopt a child under new laws giving married homosexual couples the same rights as heterosexuals, Spanish media reported on Saturday.

Newspapers quoted Carme Figueras, counsellor for welfare and family at Catalonia's government, as saying 28 gay couples had applied to adopt under last year's law -- most of them male couples.
Other gay couples in the Spanish State have become legal parents of children born to one of them naturally but the Barcelona pairare the first to adopt a child with no blood links.

"The most important thing in adoption is that the child should benefit, that he or she will be loved, looked after, respected and not mistreated," the papers quoted Figueras as saying.

Catalonian government officials were not available to confirm the reports.

Legalising gay marriage was one of the highest-profile changes Socialist Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero made when he came to power in 2004, putting him on a collision course with the Catholic Church.

2006-09-23T22:37:00.000+08:00

not that i've nothing to do, but because i've too many things to do

still@work@11

2006-09-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

How low can you go?

a report on Soccernet

Fourteen-year-old makes debut in Chile

SANTIAGO, Sept 10 (Reuters) - Nicolas Millan became the youngest player to play in the Chilean championship when he made his professional debut for Colo Colo at the age of 14 on Sunday.

Millan came on as a substitute in the 79th minute of the match at Santiago Wanderers when he replaced Felipe Mella.

Shortly afterwards, Millan had a chance to score but fired his shot over the crossbar after being left unmarked in the penalty area.

Santiago Wanderers won 1-0.

2006-09-10T21:49:00.000+08:00

Curtain call for Schumi
ITALY. After a record seven Formula One championships and 90 career wins (so far), Michael Schumacher announced his retirement from the world of motor sport at the end of the year.

He made his heartfelt announcement moments after winning his fifth and final Italian Grand Prix, paying tribute to the Ferrari team and their fans.

"Soon my future will belong to my family...but for now, what matters is this world championship."

The 37-year-old Schumacher's latest win set up a potential screamer for the final three races of the season. He is now just two points behind Spaniard Fernando Alonso (108 points) who retired from the race due to engine failure.

It was double dismay for Renault as Schumacher's win leaves the French team three points behind the prancing horses in the constructor's championships.

The German will retire after the year-ending Brazilian Grand Prix on October 22 with every major record in Formula One. His seven titles are two more than Juan Manuel Fangio's five.

2006-09-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

2006-09-05T00:15:00.000+08:00

steve irwin died today

this nature lover, who made the crocodile swamps his home and tiger dens his play pens passed on "doing something he loved" according to his producer,

maybe it's ironical that steve the animal rights person and environmentalist died on the job, killed by the fatal stake attached to the tail of a stingray, the very animal he was trying to protect and raise awareness for,

but i'm not going to talk about his work as an animal rights person, or a nature lover, or green peace rightist

i just remember that some time last year, when i was on the phone with him, after a day of endless interviews, before i could go beyond hello, he asked me whether i had eaten (for it was lunch time in Australia)

That, to me, at that time, told me that Steve cared not just for animals but people too,

awwww, :P god damn u sniggering people

rip steve

2006-09-03T20:52:00.000+08:00

i went thru hell this week

(of course, some smart alecky shit will say, "you've been to hell meh?")

but in anycase, what i went thru seemed to mirror the images of hell in my head - total desperation,

besides working my socks off (i'm certain the definition for "underpaid circus monkey" in any dict would be norman now),

i've had to content with the bloody bug in my system - nothing too terrible, except when it's 5 pm and the head's throbbing (which head? i hear my monkey friends ask) and everyone seems to be asking me for my stories at the same time, i feel like expunging all the 12 panadols i had in my tummy into their tunnel nostrils,

couple that with inconsiderate comments of some who thought their unwitty jokes were splendidly funny - i'm inclined to reiterate them here, it's just that i'm such a gentleman these days :P

on the bright side, and i don't really know how i did it, i inserted several personalised shit into my story, encouraged by a talk given by a senior writer a couple of months back, he told me that if i've the balls to include certain words regularly, and if those words catch on, i'll be rich and famous - of course i added the rich part, and the famous part as well,

but anyway, i'm glad that for the first time ever, the word "lerp" appeared, i'm lobbying for kiwek, upset, and very gewwd next

2006-08-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

the world's upside down because

there's a guy wearing a dress in wwe whose submission move is called the code of silence and it involves kissing his crotch

i watched the bold and the beautiful and actually enjoyed it

the "current" photo people see of me is actually three years old

suddenly, Pluto-ians, (of course there's life up there) realise they are not living on a planet

2006-08-07T12:26:00.000+08:00

it's coming

2006-07-28T02:57:00.000+08:00

and that's that

2006-07-17T21:04:00.000+08:00

the wheels simply locked another way and in a split second, i was kissing the bloody soil of ubin, thank goodness i had on my turban cum helmet,

actually, the only things bloody after that slight mishap were my elbows and knees,

yes
i had my first cycling mishap over the weekend, and the main instigators towards these new sport i'm pursuing say that it won't be my last,

welcome band aids, excruciating pain while i'm putting on my pants, tears while bathing,

i think it's gonna be fun

2006-07-04T01:54:00.000+08:00

i don't have time to wait for the new year, and i know this is a tad premature, but since i've already started writing here, might as well share my resolutions for all to voyeur,

you'll be glad to know that i'm not planning on taking up poetry anytime soon,

anyway, here goes

1, really really run three times a week which means waking up at 6.30 to run before work on mondays, wednesdays and fridays - something i've always meant to do but somehow, due to vagaries of natural forces of resistance and the subtle temptations of the bed, blanket and pillow package, usually fail

2, eat less fried food, deep fried food is heavenly, but i resolve to eat less fried chicken after today's spring chicken massacre

3, sleep earlier, not early into the wee hours of the night early, but like before 12, so that i'll be fresh at my desk and won't doze off, especially after a carbo laden lunch

4, be nicer and at least say hi to everybody i meet in the office, now i avoid those i can avoid and smile at those i can't heh

5, stop bitching and listening to other's bitching(i'm ashamed of myself, truly) - this is the hardest fucking thing in the whole wide world man, everybody around me seem to be dishing out dirt or something theses days

2006-06-26T22:58:00.000+08:00

it's been a while since i wrote something here,
that's because work has zapped my energy off me, and reduced my creative juices to mere drops of mediocrity, granted, arguably, they were in fact just a teeny bit above it in the first place,

but anyhow,
things have been fair recently, with regards to work - i've been given a column to work with, but the inevitable flux in the job tells me that the arrangement would not be permanent,

with regards to anything else, it's been stagnant, to overstate the obvious, and besides dying of boredom, i'm in the process of finding joy in mundance things - so eating somewhere new is great and cutting hair for a new price of 14 bucks is stupendous,

how sadly i've degenerated,

a not so mundane development, i'm trying to become a triathlete, minus the swimming, the running, haha

yes, i succumbed to desire and bought a mountain bike and hopefully, would be able to go trailing soon, or to give a more realistic timeline looking at my skill on the bike, hopefully before christmas, with one training wheel,

2006-06-12T02:55:00.000+08:00

trying hard to get a peek

(if you're hot) don't sleep on the plane

go for plain

2006-05-31T00:00:00.000+08:00

for those who's yet to watch x-men iii and want to catch it this weekend, please stay for the ending after the credits,

2006-05-29T13:19:00.000+08:00

fucking hot

2006-05-25T00:19:00.000+08:00

to summarise, we need to fulfill our basic needs first, according to maslow, before we can go on to successively "higher" needs,

for example, if you are hungry and sex-deprived, have low self esteem, (physical needs) you would not be able to reach your potentials career wise, in love, you would have self-esteem issues and fail to make it to the the psychological need of self actualization - to grow as a person, get my drift? so it really does depend on what you put into your tummy, hehe

going by this theory, which is, might i add, incredibly sound and logical, human beings would never be contented, or rather, remain contented

i mean, once you have a car, you want a bigger car next, once you have a pretty girl, you'd want a prettier girl or maybe two pretty girls,

hence, although contentedness is of course not synonymous with happiness, as pointed out by coelho,

it's impossible to be happy without being contented first, and the irony is that once you reach a level of contentment, your happiness would merely be in passing, and you'll once again desire for a contentment that can only be fulfilled by a higher achievement,

my point? savour your happy moments, some last for a long time, others only mere secaonds, but moments are moments, because they never last

2006-05-23T01:30:00.000+08:00

there are better things to ponder about than the meaning of life, true love, happiness, sadness, whatever,

it's possible that all the great thinkers like berlin, thomas, james, whoever, whoever lost touch of the simpler things in life while pursuing and creating new thoughts on politics, sociology, whatever,

they forget to ponder, (possibly because these are beneath their intellects) about
things like why boogers only smell when they are out of your nose, or what ear wax is made up of,

things like which side of the grass is greener, and what mapple butter tastes like, how come axillary hair is curly even though you have straight hair,

why do snails continue forward after we lifted them and turned them round 180 degrees,
how come coconuts do not contain cocoa, why it's never too late to have chocoLATE,

sigh,

2006-05-14T23:05:00.000+08:00

2006-05-07T23:05:00.000+08:00

class 95's 90s weekend coincided with my customory weekend travels to the far east for my four hours of mental torture,

loved every song they played, even the elton john stuff,

but then they played one of my all time favs - Meatloaf's "I would do anything for love (but i won't do that)"

for more than 10 years, i've been asking, questioning, querying, what is that one thing that Marvin Aday wouldn't do for love.

i've whittled it down to a number of things;

1. he won't go for reconstructive surgery
2. he would not denounce his liking for velvet
4. he wouldn't cut his hair
4. he wouldn't sing a duet with elton
5. he won't take it in the arse

2006-05-04T00:01:00.000+08:00

A sultan decided to travel by sea with some of his favorite courtiers. They joined the ship in Dubai and sailed out into the open sea.
However, as soon as the ship moved away from land, one of his subjects - who had never seen the sea before, having spent most of his life in the mountains - began to be overcome with panic.
Sitting in the ship's hold, he cried, shouted and refused to eat or sleep. Everyone tried to calm him down, saying that the journey wasn't as dangerous as all that, but although he heard their words, they had no influence on his heart. The sultan did not know what to do, and the fine journey upon calm seas and under blue skies, became a torment for the passengers and crew alike.
Two days passed without anyone being able to sleep because of the man's cries.
The sultan was about to order the ship to return to port, when one of his ministers, who was known for his wisdom, came over:
- Your Highness, with your permission, I will be able to calm him.
Without a moment's hesitation, the sultan said that not only would he allow it, but that he should reward him if he succeeded in solving the problem.
The wise man asked that the man be thrown into the sea. Right away, content because their nightmare was about to end, several crew members grabbed the man struggling in the hold, and cast him into the ocean.
The courtier thrashed about, sank, swallowed plenty of seawater, returned to the surface, screamed louder than ever, sank again, and managed to surface once again. Just then, the minister ordered for him to dragged back on board.
From then on, no one heard so much as a single complaint from the man, who spent the rest of the journey in silence, and even commented to one of the passengers that he had never seen anything so beautiful as the sky and sea touching on the horizon. The journey - which had before been a torment to all those on board the ship - became a pleasurable, peaceful experience.
A short time before they returned to port, the Sultan went to see the minister:
- How did you guess that, by throwing that poor man into the sea, he would calm down?
- Because of my marriage - replied the minister. - I was always terrified of losing my wife, and was so jealous that I never stopped shouting and screaming like that man.
"One day she could take no more, and left me - and I tasted the terrible experience of living without her. She only returned when I promised never again to torment her with my fears.
"In the same way, that man had never tasted salt water, and had never known the agony of a drowning man. When he felt that, he understood only too well how marvelous it can be to feel the planks of a ship under his feet.
- Wise counsel - commented the sultan.

adapted from www.warriorofthelight.com

2006-04-30T20:24:00.000+08:00

it's funny that the moment i step into a shop to look at something as dull as pencils for instance, a few others would gravitate into the same shop and proceed to admire the very pencils i'm looking at,

i'm sure i'm not the only one right?

2006-04-25T22:17:00.000+08:00

tuesday nights

there's this pizza hut advertisement airing on tv now - michelle chia as the pizza buyer, who tries to hit on her cute pizza delivery man, there're a number of fallacies in this senario, to my untrained eyes, of course

1, i've ordered fast food numerous times, macs, kfc, pizza hut, but never, have the delivery persons ever, EVER, addressed me by my name,

2, the pizza boy shy shy - i've lots of friends in the pizza delivery industry - a shy shy pizza boy is a rarity, i mean not many would think twice if someone as hot as michelle chia comes on to you,

3, and come on, michelle chia doens't eat pizza, what more baked rice, honey dipped chicken, fried oil and garlic bread, look at her, she probably eats the cardboard box after dabbing it with tissue

2006-04-23T18:48:00.000+08:00

never overanalyse things,
i mean,
complex things evolve into even more complicated issues if you ponder about them too much,

of course certain things must be scrutinised thoroughly, like lice in hair or maggots in bananas,

but other things don't call for such effort,

like buying a burger for instance,

just make the simple decision whether you want it fish or meat - that's all, don't analyse the calories in it, don't think of the poor kids in sudan who are drying out the sesame seeds for the buns, don't think,just get it,

and eat it

what i'm trying to say is, don't create issues for the purpose of overthinking them in your head,

danger man

2006-04-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

sorry for not updating, but i've been busy,,,

just a typical day at nou camp, celebrating with the senores after another great game

after richie's divorce, i had to be with the band more, you know, to give him moral support, that's what we do

i'm applauding because it's already lunch time,,,

2006-03-12T16:18:00.000+08:00

confessions of a tv addict

i watch tv like there's no tomorrow - i'll turn the tube on the moment i come home, and after that it's one show after another - there's seinfeld every week day now, mondays are comedy nights, tuesday is cheesy teen flick galore, i investigate an uncharacteristic murder with grissom on wednesdays, wrestle triple h on thursdays and fridays and the whole cycle repeats itself 24/7, now, f1 season has started and world cup is coming, hell, i'm even watching golf now,

i blame the television company for this - who ask them to bring in many many tv shows and indulge me with these visual vices which i've to pay exhorbitantly for, i mean once you have cable, we're in the upper class of tv aristocracy, you can't watch free-to-air anymore, bye bye to police and thief,

sometimes, i don't even know what i'm watching - it's just my thumb working the remote, it's flick flick flick and before i know it the program that started with a platypus giving birth ends with nelly singing about his grillz on mtv

grills, for the uninitiated is just another the gangsta slang for diamond encrusted dentures, and nelly has a whole new song based on that, oh well, if it catches on in the geriatric ward over here, singapore's aged has something to look forward to in their retirement years, after eating all the candy, icekachang and cheesecakes, it'll be a new status symbol, so we don't have to prance around with those car keys around our wrinkled fingers any more, we just have to smile a lot in the future, which actually, come to think about it isn't really a bad thing,

note: someone pointed out that i don't use proper punctuation in my blog, especially the "full stop", well the reason is simple - although i know omitting the dot sorta accelerates the reading flow, i just want to make a point (pun intended) that like the pauses in life, the commas are sufficient and my leaving the full stop out over here is symbolic - that i don't want my sentences or rather my writings to end, (go barf now)

2006-03-08T17:45:00.000+08:00

came across these funnies while random surfing

2006-03-03T01:00:00.000+08:00

guys and gals, if you're in the vicinity of the esplanade next saturday, do check out this photo exhibition by my friends, - it's about the revival of the traditional cambodian dance after the brutality of the khmer rouge regime, goodness guaranteed! venue is library@esplanade 11-19 march, from 11am - 9pm (click the photo to see the poster in its entirety)

2006-02-27T04:44:00.000+08:00

from koptalk.com

Hospitals on Merseyside are bracing themselves for a huge increase in births over the next couple of weeks as a result of Liverpool winning the Champions League nine months ago.

One local hospital expects to see a hundred or more new arrivals check in as a result of happy dad's celebrating Steven Gerrard lifting the trophy in Instanbul last May.

Gold Club member Chris reported yesterday that his wife had just given birth to little Kathryn and we expect plenty of more new Reds to arrive on the scene soon and not just on Merseyside.

Congratulations to Chris and his Mrs and anyone else who is celebrating

wonder how many singaporean dads were that happy when singapore won the tiger cup two years ago,

maybe the cause of our declining birth rates is our national team's failure to win more tournaments? i mean we don't have this sort of problems when we were in the malaysia cup and winning them,

2006-02-27T04:00:00.000+08:00

the importance of being idle

there is no better pleasure than sitting down after walking around for hours and hours in the hot sun, the immediate feeling of relieve that makes you go "aahhhh" the moment your bum touches the soft, comfy cushion is literally priceless

in the same manner, getting up after lying in bed but it's not time to get up yet (it's never time to get up come to think of it) is a bitch, truly

i particularly hate it if somebody wakes me up ten minutes earlier than the time i set on my clock, i know it's petty, but you see, it's a chain reaction, ten minutes might be all the time i need to finish off that prefect dream or totally sleep off the weariness from the night before,

maybe, those ten minutes are the last ten minutes i'll ever get to sleep through for the rest of my life, in fact, probably, the world would be a quieter (and arguably better) place with me in lala land for those damn 10 minutes,

i really need sleep i think

2006-02-20T22:22:00.000+08:00

who says nothing malay has reached the olympics yet?

was channel surfing and chanced upon the sports channel coverage of the winter olympics, nothing special except for a skier from madagascar who made his sunny country proud on ice,

anyway, i was preparing for a second round of surfing when the coverage switched to an ang moh man throwing (sliding rather) a piece of rock shaped like a unhollowed batu lesung, across an ice alley, to add to the bizarreness, two men, from opposing teams, then proceeded to vigourously sweep the area in front of the lesung with brooms like penyapu traditional and "kleenex floor wipes",
this changes the course of the sliding 19kg worth of solid granite, i learnt

welcome to the sport of curling,
i mean after chess made it as an official olympic event, nothing else could be worst i guess

2006-02-18T03:04:00.000+08:00

watch mrs henderson - it's witty, has good jokes, great soundtrack, judi dench packs a punch with her lines and there're naked women all around, parading as statues and art, go watch

2006-02-17T01:14:00.000+08:00

car woes

i saw a car on fire on the expressway just now, i mean it was really burning up in flames, with black fumes spewing out from what used to be an ah beng souped up lancer, when i saw the electronic sign saying car in flames, i thought it must be a pathetic attempt of whoever it was controlling the signboard to be humourous, (something like what i'm always trying to do probably, but it was true, the car was in flames

it was probably an omen for me for as on a slope a few minutes after that, i tore off my handbrake - i mean the damn stick really came off in my hands, i mean i know i'm all powerful and all (barf barf), but it was kind of amazing, i think the lady in the vehicle next to mine was quite shocked then amused, but too polite to laugh

2006-02-13T13:34:00.000+08:00

2006-02-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

a man at twenty five is stuck in a hapless purgatory - he sees the long winding road ahead, it is open and inviting but at the same time scary,

he knows the road wouldn't be any less rocky than the many smaller roads he'd travelled before - that it would be more difficult to come back onto the road now if he strays too far away from it,

gone is his rashed blessing of impulsiveness, replaced by a heart perverted by contemplations and practical thought,

but what he fears most is the realisation the road has no u-turns, and that having come thus far, and with the end no where in sight, how his journey would end

2006-02-08T17:22:00.000+08:00

the legend is true - loch ness monster exists! and it has a baby

2006-02-04T02:10:00.000+08:00

girls love shoes and guys love guys
every girl worth her prada and gucci knows that a good pair of shoes, that one perfect pair in silver lined with beaded diamonds from sierra leone that matches her newly bought dress to be worn to a best friend's wedding is worth a lot more than than, well, the next pair of shoes (or her salary)

she knows that the perfect pair of shoes are the ones that go with only maybe 2 dresses - this gives her an excuse to go shopping and buy matching shoes for her tons of other tops and dresses in the bulging wardrobe,

guys are no better,

in fact, instead of shoes, we are obsessed with other men - gasp - (not that there is anything wrong with that - i don't want to be head-hunted by feminist and gay activists for this piece)

anyway, guys don't care a hoot for anything else as long as we can become beckham, jordan, rossi, brad pitt, and sometimes all of them at the same time, hell i know of one who aims to become singapore's answer to the MILF hunter, but that's another story

you almost never hear a guy say, "wow, i which i had a pair of earrings like beckham" but you'll always hear at sunday basketball court soccer matches grown men saying "ah, look who's ronaldinho, i'm he," os something to that effect as he executes a lame imitation of fake-overs,

so we wear our hair in a mullet kind of wave because beckham wears it like that and we buy yamaha bikes because rossi is paid to ride one, we buy air jordans so that we can leap tall buildings in a single bound, we try to get a super babe girlfriend who wants to adopt cambodian children because brad did that, the list goes on,

it's hard to admit but we like other guys, we want to be in the cool guy's company, we want to be them even, that's the reason why we gush over our sports heroes and hollywood darlings, and that's why, when we say we want to buy that oh so expensive pair of football boots or that cool red mini cooper it's not for us, but simply to satisfy our genetic cravings to have david beckham's right leg and mark wahlberg's tool, (this last reference would only be clear to those who have watched boogie nights)

2006-02-01T06:49:00.000+08:00

The offside rule explained for girls from www.koptalk.com

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.
Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.
Always remembering that until the purse has *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

2006-01-30T23:39:00.000+08:00

i think it's bloody therapeutic to be in Singapore at 6pm on the eve of chinese new year

simply because, like someone has pressed the mute button on the celestial remote control, the whole island becomes ghostly quiet - roads are empty, shops are closed, no one's walking about, no damn kids running around playing teng-teng and the birds are all nesting somewhere in the trees,

these sounds are replaced by the more tolerable clicks of bowls and glasses, of chopsticks scraping the last bits of abalone from the bottom of the bowl and mahjong tiles clattering around (this one has potential of not being totally tolerable at 2 am)

and i get to go to mustafa centre thrice in four days

gong xi fa cai

2006-01-24T00:36:00.000+08:00

backaches's back?

wasted a couple of hours waiting for these buggers who came, posed a bit, answered a couple of questions and left,

ended up with empty notepad, backache, nonsense photos,

that's not all, a security personnel at the airport actually singled me out and decided that my possessions should be checked - i mean there are literally hundreds of people and i was wearing my pass but he had to pick me:

policeman - "what's in your bag?" (it's huge bag in green good for dumping anything and everything inside quickly)
me- "god knows" - (i really don't know, cos i have tons of things inside, old tissue paper, camera bag, overdue library books, pens, pencils, charger, )
policeman - "i will have to search it"
me - "go ahead" ( and i handed him the bag)
policeman - "no, u open it for me" (i think he's scared i wired the bag's zipper to a motion sensitive explosive device)
so he proceeds to sieve through my back, which of course didnt' contain anything substantial
policeman - "u have identification?" (looking at me but trying to check out my pass)
me - "you looking at it right?"
policeman - "yah, i know, but what about other identification?"
me - "you do know that i exchanged my only identity card for this pass right?" (now i'm beginning to lose patience, cos i see a man with a bigger bag and admittedly more suspicious looking than me - not that i'm suspicious looking of course, go past a couple of policemen without them blinking)
policeman - "of course but any other identification?"
me - "no, i'm only issued one identity card"
policeman - "ohhh i see, well, thank you."

i know he's doing his job, but come on, don't do it dumbly and worse, isn't it scary,
knowing that if i was a real bomber, i could have hidden the bomb in my camera bag and this dumb person wouldn't have a clue?

2006-01-18T23:44:00.000+08:00

if you guys have nothing to do next saturday and want some clubbing, lots of hot babes, lots of hunks, maybe free handphones go for this fashion show organised by my friends at dxo k,

http://www.motorolablackcarnival.com/

say my name only, confirm can get in, (lying ah, just go sign up for the passes online)

2006-01-17T12:10:00.000+08:00

alien dust bunnies

i guess many have heard about the successful NASA mission by now - the one where they've brought home the "first samples of interstellar dust particles" from outer space, yada yada yada

spectacular right? however, the scientists from uc berkeley now are baffled by the sheer enormity of the task to literally sieve through the dust collected under a microscope that they've posted the images online and are calling out for volunteers from around the world to help them look for alien dust bunnies

for anyone who has nothing better to do and want to be part of history, go to the stardust website to find out how you can join in the search and good luck

2006-01-17T11:30:00.000+08:00

where's wally?

the one who finds wally gets to buy me a bowl of tampines s-11 yong tau foo

2006-01-10T01:44:00.000+08:00

i lost my ring yesterday, it must have slipped off my finger in the heavy downpour, silly me - i only realised the naked finger after comfortably sitting myself in the humble one room apartment belonging to the sweet hokkien woman who plied us with winter melon tea and juicy chinese apples, three for one dollar she says

hell, it was all i could do to wait for us to be done with our interviews before i retraced my steps in the rain, but always, with a growing disbelief in my heart that i'll ever find it, i mean, what are the chances right,

the ring was of insignificant value in money terms, but as echoed by many who's lost something sentimental, as cliched as it sound, you can't put a price to good memories

so i walked, from pavement to staircase to grass patch, with my mates, looking for the shiny sparkle that would reflect the sliver of sunlight from the skies, all the while the rain kept on her steady drizzle

i'm never for dramatics, and this is definitely an indulgence, but i found my ring, in a side drain, wedge between pieces of graphite, and nothing else looked more beautiful at that moment,

2006-01-05T03:44:00.000+08:00

green street hooligans

this movie rocks, simply because it potrays with stark realism the violence that goes on in British football - so you get to see believable vinny jones and roy keane like thugs who beat the shit out of rival gangs or as they call it over there, firms, simply to hold on to past glories and to maintain their firm's reputation

of course, it's kinda sad to see Froddo Baggins playing the american who kicked ass with the brit football hooligans, isn't he a tad dainty? but maybe he was casted because he could be kicked around and punched square in the face and yet maintain his fin, in any case, he redeemed himself with some good acting

in green street hooligans, director lexi alexander manages to mix violence and humour without being preachy, balancing delicately the human qualities and dignity of the thugs without glorifying their futile cause

catch the movie when it's out, the english wry wit alone makes it worth its ticket price

2006-01-05T02:55:00.000+08:00

check your fucking bills

i finally got through to the samsung people who forced (without my knowledge) it's fun club subscription upon me months ago,

finally, i stopped the subscription to "the world of fun ringtones and quality polyphonic downloads" which cost me $12 a month since May last year,and of course, i didn't download anything, so basically, i was just donating cash to the samsung people, possibly making monthly contributions to them to help pay crespo's damn salary at stamford bridge, now we know why samsung can afford to bankroll chelsea i guess, they've suckered millions of its handphone users into joining its fun club,

of course, in retrospect, it's my fault for not checking the bloody details and got suckered into this shady and cunnine scheme, but who reads the details right, you just go and pay the damn bills each month,

so check your damn bills people

2005-12-31T03:03:00.000+08:00

saw a woman and man boxing each other in the orchard underpass at tangs yesterday, and i mean really boxing, as in right in front of me, the woman landed an uncompromising right hook between the guy's eyes - tyson would be pleased,

anyway the guy probably deserved that, especially after he retaliated and landed a blow on the woman's head via a cookie-box loaded st michael's bag, talk about a bagful of goodies huh,

the drama carried on, with the crowd forming around them getting bigger and bigger, and of course everyone wanted to see the free show, and yes, there were people who sibuk-sibuk - the good samaritans who tried to intervene, but the couple were oblivious to anyone but themselves,

although, the woman kept shouting after a while that she doesn't know who the fuck the man is, she sounded damn unconvincing, especially so to the chick standing beside me, she's adamant that the couple must have slept together or something, lepak

i bought an orange gelato, picked a good spot, and wished for some pop corn

2005-12-28T05:04:00.000+08:00

one go down all go down -
an open letter to my "members"*

well,

it's been a year - can't say that it's been a totally bad year, nor can i say it's been an exceptionally good one,
one thing for sure though, it would end on a much better note than 2004 did,

and for that, i'll thank the stupendous, super burgs, legendary, remarkable people i have around me , the ones i call members, the ones who call me friend

although their motives have been questionable at times (this almost always involve something to do with chicks or food or the likes), these friends are there when i needed them most and have supported me in their own individual unique ways, some indirectly, but most touched my heart (barf bag alert)

so at the risk of being melodramatic and cheesy and kental, i say thanks, and when i make my millions, i will not forget these people, i'll employ you guys to do my gardening, and wash my clothes k and don't call out to me in public

* this premature but cliched "reflections on the past year" post is probably one of the millions of pieces that would be published over the next few days in the cyber world, i'm just trying to be the first

2005-12-27T10:48:00.000+08:00

read a book on the life of andy warhol today, actually more like flipped through the text and just admired the works of the 20th century artist done 2 -3 decades ago, warhol, made pop(ular) popular, and is responsible for inspiring the soup cans motifs on bags and clothes, the big marlboro pack design on rael's tshirt and many other commercial "asssembly line" kind of designs and installations we see today

2005-12-21T23:57:00.000+08:00

to be written into the constitution in 2006

1. aunties, uncles, ah peks, ah mahs, makciks, pakciks, and whoever that keeps on pressing the lift button more than once in the hope of accelerating the arrival of the lift would be banned from using lifts nationwide. the same would apply to traffic-lights-button-pressers

2. those who fail to exercise their liberty to at least shower in the mornings before infecting the air with funky aroma in public transport should be locked up in a gas chamber filled with "B-O, by Kelvin Kind" for a period no shorter than 12 months,

3. bras would be banned in public. enough said

4. pop-corn, smarties, hot dogs and other overpriced merchandice at the cinema would be free-of-charge, in fact, movie patrons would be paid an endorsement fee if they munch their food and slup their diets cokes loudly in the cinema

5. people with phony accents would be shot

2005-12-12T14:49:00.000+08:00

legend photo 1(1996)

those were the years when sharael was not as bull as me, amirul hasn't acquired a taste for sezhuan cuisine, pre-m nasir- hair days elmie, imran masih rambut gel ( actually i just saw him, - his hair's still rock solid)

and we'll never forget cikgu ali's slaps - how he removes all the bling bling from his fingers before he hands out the ultimate punishment, neither would we forget his sadistic impressions of the handicap, or how sleepy noon classes were spent making sure we had a thorough malay cultural education which included making ladles from coconut shells and keris replicas from wood piece that were so tiny that it hurts, that

2005-12-09T00:03:00.000+08:00

mum shouldn't have left her recipes lying around,

chocolate cheese cupcake
recipe (makes 9 cupcakes)
30g ginger cookie (for base)
60g dark chocolate ( i recommend any brand with 70% cocoa)
180g cream cheese
75ml whipping cream
1 egg (about 65g)
20g castor sugar
20g cocoa powder

topping
chocolate shavings
icing sugar
cupcake dimensions = 45mm (diameter) & 25mm (height)

how to do
whisk the cream cheese until smooth (if tiny lumps persist, that's ok, they'll melt out later)
pour the whipping cream and whisk some more until hand pain
add castor sugar, cocoa powder and egg and whisk again (use other hand now if the other hand temporarily immobilised)
once mixture is smooth, pour in the melted dark chocolate, (how to melt? use imagination)
after that whisk some more (i realised at this point that i have an electric mixer)
then once smooth, ladle the mixture into the cups which should now be nestled in the baking tray,
bake in pre heated oven at 150 degrees celcius for 20-30 mins
when done, wait for it to cool, then put in fridge,
before serving, sprinkle sugar and chocolate shavings,

2005-12-06T16:11:00.000+08:00

killed some chickens today,

i also joined a bully in slapping a boy, killed some more hens, stole some gold from a farmer, broke some barrels of ale, grew a horn, some archery, all in a days' work for a villain apprentice

feels good being bad, after so long trying not to stray from the sidewalk (courtesy of kelly clarkson), feels good to feel anakin-like and go towards the end of light, and i'm more powerful too,